pathetic. fuckin' pathetic. its become as far as ice cubes away to get there. the fear hasn't split into peices as i had promised myself. being 'brave' has only made me look like a fool. that first footstep everyone takes for something or other? i traded it for cracked rose colored glasses. another purchase i made based on hype.

she did turn around again but didn't look at me different as i had been hoping. she sees me the same as she always had. and that smirk teases again, just at the corner of her lips.

failure is a brand heaviest when its being myself that was judged.

i have to get out and see the sun because all these shadows make a filthy stinking smothering cloak. i'm weary of carrying this heavy cloying thing. it itches and bothers. it makes my head hurt and distracts me from other things. but i can't put it down. it holds tight, whispering to me under the cowl. that i need it. that i'm less of a person without its weight. and that no apology is powerful enough to release me from it.

A TONIC REPRISE
By : Wolfgang

I lost my heart today but that's ok
cause now I'm a man who has no heart
I lost my soul today but that's ok
cause now I'm a man who has no soul
and you can't blacken the rain
and you can't stem the tides from shore
and you can't see the sun because you've got nothing
and you can't tarnish all the leaves
and you can't paint away the clouds
you'll never hold the stars
because you've got nothing, nothing at all
I lost my pride today but that's ok
cause now I'm a man who has no pride