mouse's wheel

i feel like the background character in somebody else's novel or movie. i'm the character who seems to have little impact, imparting little nuggets of dialogue once every twelve episodes and then hanging around in the fuzzy background of the main player. no part of the story seems to ever take place at my house. it is just taken for granted that i do go home and do have parents which i talk about rarely. for all anybody ever knows, a janitor probably comes around, switches my power off then stores me in a closet. then i am pulled out, dressed up and cleaned up just in time for my messy hair make another appearance.

so this is what being a character foil is like. was i so used to being in the middle of a spotlight? am i that arrogant to be thinking that the world, if ever, did revolve around me. am i missing having people around me who gave me purpose like the friend character that i used to be? am i lamenting hanging around people who treat me like some comedic buffoon? i used to like being the buffoon because nobody would take that seriously. now it seems to be my main purpose within the new friendships. its hard changing roles midstream i guess.

all the other characters seem to have something important going on with their lives. i just bought a new pair of kicks, and no one to shoot around with. woohoo.

the gang's all gone and i'm still drinking my warm beer, waiting for somebody to show up.